youre lurking in front of me
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
He kissed a someone with a penis
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
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I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
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She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
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By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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