exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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