he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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