hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
