I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
