we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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