he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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