I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
