pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Is it penis luge time yet?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
The adults are the big ones right?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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