We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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