Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Randomize
