After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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