It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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