What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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