I think I am morally bankrupt
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
