that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
