he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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