Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Randomize
