life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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