you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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