Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
