Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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