i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
