I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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