i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
