Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
