I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Randomize
