This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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