I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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