I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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