I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
