Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
