I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
