weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
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I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
the liver wants what the liver wants
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
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You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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