the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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