His pubic hair was longer than his dick
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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