Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Panties = found
Randomize
