the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
