Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
