pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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