I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
