new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I need a hoe opinion
go on
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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