I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I'm passing your future prison.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Randomize