I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
