Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
