I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
