I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
