that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
