So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
