just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
