He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
