She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
