That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
