Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize