You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
