i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize