I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
