I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize