Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
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