My brain says no but my pants say off.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Let's get the cat blown out
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
