Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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