this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Randomize
